August 03, 2006 - The fauna of friendshipThe Suffolk Times • August 3, 2006
The fauna
of friendshl*
I *q�lt
At left: This is the entrance
to our friendship garden.
The pink rose covering the
trellis is an old favorite that
came from my dad's place.
�- Below, from left:
The Paulownia tree is not
native but is often used in
landscaping, for it has a
beautiful lavender flower
that blossoms before the
big leaves come out.
It's hard to think of winter
when it has been so hot
lately, but perhaps seeing
the snow on this winter -
flowering jasmine will help
us cope with the heat.
Because part of the flower
of the tulip tree is green,
it's often overlooked. If
you get a chance, look
deep inside the flower
and you'll be surprised at
i�its beauty.
Suffolk Times photos
by Paul Stoutenburgh
an
PLANTS MEAN DIFFERENT things to
different people. Take, for instance, our
little garden; it has a shrub that was
given to Barbara in memory of her
sister. There's hardly a time we go out
in the garden that it doesn't remind us
of Betty and her wonderful and giving
life. ,
Then there's the huge holly tree that
I took from my dad's place when he
passed away years ago. I also brought
his star magnolia
that he was so
Focus proud of, but
O N that didn't live.
No matter; we've
NATURE bought a new one
and it's serving as
by Paul a reminder of him
Stoutenburgh and how he loved
his gardening.
Then there's
the weeping cherry tree that sits at the
head of our long driveway that the kids
gave us when Barbara's brother passed
away. He was younger than she and it
continually reminds her of the many
days they spent together. It greets us
when we come up the drive. Halfway
up that driveway is a rhododendron
that Mr. Dart, my old chemistry and
physics - teacher, gave me just because
he thought I should have one.
Many of you have your own memo-
ries of giving or receiving plants, bush -.
es or trees when a relative or friend
passed away, when a new addition joins
the family, or just to exchange with one
another. Barbara would like to think
of our garden as a friendship garden
because so many plants growing in it
were given to us by friends from their
own gardens.
We have a clump of pachysandra
alongside the walk to the garage. It
came from Aunt Martha's place in
Stewart Manor years ago. Along with
it came some tiny maple tree seedlings
One of those tiny seedlings is now a
huge tree. We watch it leaf out in the
spring, then drop its helicopter -like
seeds, and later watch its leaves turn
to bright yellow in the fall. Remem-
ber when you were a kid how you put
those seedpods on your nose? That
maple tree that flourishes along the
north edge of our pasture will always
remind us of Aunt Martha's warmth
and cheerfulness.
In the center of our lawn is a bird-
bath and all around it are various fern
that were given to Barbara and me
from our friends who have land and
a cabin up in the Catskills. They are a
reminder of true friends.
Over 50 years ago we bought our
property from a wonderful man named
Clayton Billard,No real relation of
Barbara's but back then when Skunk
Lane was young and few people lived
on it, everyone on the lane was called
Aunt or Uncle or Cousin; she knew him
as Cousin Clayton. He was one of the
true natives whose roots go way back.
He loved to work around his place and
built small boats during the winter that
he sold at the edge of the road. One
day as he walked out to his sho in the
barn, his heart just gave up
and he died right there. His
daughter Winnie called and
asked if I could find a tree in
our woods (once theirs) and
plant it right where he fell.
That oak tree grew tall as a
reminder to Winnie and her
family of all their past days
together in their wonderful
and loving home.
Our daughter had an ornamental
peach tree at her first home. When she
moved away she took a seedling with
her and gave one to her brother. His
tree grew and sent out seedlings, which
he shared so we all could have one of
the ornamental peach trees we had
admired. Today the one in my garden
of only has lovely pink springtime
blossoms but also has mauve - colored
eaves now that will last into the fall.
As I said, it's nice to give living trees
and plants to friends and family on dif-
ferent occasions. We had a happy occa-
sion recently and plants were a part of
that celebration. When our great -grand-
daughter Haylie was born this week
C ur daughter thought of giving her
parents a Paulownia tree, or princess
tree, because of its unique history. It's
a fast - growing tree with big leaves and
purple flowers that blossom before the
leaves come out. We've been told that
in Japan when a daughter is born a Pau -
lownia tree is planted. Since
it is fast - growing, by the time
the daughter is old enough
to marry the tree can be cut
down and the father can use
the wood to build a hope
chest for his daughter.
The fast - growing Pau -
lownia tree reminded us of
a tree our granddaughter
rought home from school when she
was in kindergarten. It was only a
spindly stick in a paper cup. It was a
sad - looking specimen, but neverthe-
less it was planted with tender loving
care and today she is in college and
that little "stick in the paper cup" she
brought home and planted from school
,tands above the housetop and is
;overed with beautiful tulip -like blos-
;oms. It is a huge tree and brings much
)leasuie to everyone who sees it and
hinks about how it started. A perfect
example of how something weak can
often be turned around into a strong
and wonderful thing if only given that
tender loving care.
During the winter we are cheered ul
by the flowering winter jasmine that
came from the old farmhouse our son
bought years ago. On a snowy winter
day we can walk through the garden
and on the little tool shed we can see
this dainty plant with its yellow blos -'
sours all covered with snow or perhaps
even ice hanging from its petals. What
a ray of hope for spring to come again.
Then there's the yellow tea rose that
a grand old man gave us. Each year it
tries to outdo itself as it glows in yel-
low on its trellis. (Thank you, Hallock,
and happy 90th birthday.)
Once while we were yard -saling we
saw great clumps of white iris. Not hav-
ing a white iris I asked if I could swap
some of my big tall, blue iris for some
of their white ones. "Sure" was the
answer and today in my iris bed grow
beautiful white irises.
We did the same kind of friendly
"swapping" with our neighbor. She
had a big stand of large, yellow eve-
ning primrose and we swapped for
something we had that she wanted
— both were old favorites. Now we
both have plants that brighten our gar-
dens and help create a stronger bond
will always
remind us of
Aunt Martha's
warmth and
cheerfulness.